Tired in Body, Mind, and Spirit

We went to our friend Nicolette Emanuelle’s CD release party last night, and she was fantastic, but didn’t start playing until midnight, so we were definitely tired when we got home at 2 am. I slept in until 8, but I’m still a little tired.

That’s the body part…on to mind and spirit. I’m tired of the mental gymnastics that I’m having to deal with right now….is God telling me to change, or that my attitude needs to change? I am almost completely certain that I need a seroius attitude adjustment, but even that scares me because I’m so used to being the way I am, that I’m afraid I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I really acted the way I think God wanted me to.

I’m also dealing with some conflict about having too much on my plate at church. I’m going to have to take some time to think about priorities and start saying “no” to last-minute requests more often. I just don’t have time to do everything, but I always feel super-guilty when I do say no. I’ve got to get past that.

On the project front, I finished my skinny scarf; yay! It just needs to be blocked and then I can see how even it turned out (hopefully).

Also, I started my first-ever garment, a tank top pattern from Ravelry. Here’s a pic of the first few rows:Today, I’m not doing anything. Joey and I are relaxing and then we’ll go get our groceries for the week, but that’s it. Tomorrow is going to be very stressful as there’s a “summer sing” going on at church and we’ll have to be there at 4 for a soundcheck. My trio is doing an acapella song, so I’m a little nervous about it. I’m also singing on a praise team with two songs that I don’t know very well and won’t have much time to listen to them. But, I’m not worrying about it…don’t have time. I’m going to say a prayer, wing it, and get through it.

I just wish God would make things more clear for me right now. I know it’s because I’m not taking the time to read the Bible and really seek the answers like I should, but I go between really wanting to do that and draw close and being resentful and bitter and wanting to just give up on the whole shebang. Hopefully, this will pass sooner, rather than later. Blah.

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