November 2010, AKA, Crapulence

So, November of this year is really a month that I’d rather just wipe off the calendar.  While November is traditionally my favorite month in that it has mine and Joey’s dating and wedding anniversaries and Thanksgiving, this year, there was too much bad thrown in there that outweighed the good.  However, it’s over and things are starting to look up, so I’m doing my best to put it behind me and move on.  I’ve learned a lot this year.

Today was our first day back at our main campus; one of the reasons that I haven’t blogged is because I’ve been struggling with that situation for the past two weeks.  Our other campus is a great place; it’s just not where we fit and it was time to come back home to the familiar.  One of the things I’ve learned about myself is how much I need my routines and how traumatic change is for me, and how I need to try to limit it whenever possible.  I know that sounds pretty weak, but one of the most important things that I’ve learned from being diagnosed and treated for anxiety/depression issues is that you need to know and accept your limits.  That’s not to say that you should never push yourself outside of your comfort zone, but rather that you should accept what you know about yourself and learn to navigate the world within those parameters.

I have done virtually nothing in the way of food/fitness lately, and barely any knitting.  Days have been spent working feverishly due to some changes at the job, and evenings have been spent collapsing and watching television, half-doing schoolwork, and then getting to bed only to wake up at 3:30 and spend the rest of the wee hours of the morning frustrated, wondering why I cannot sleep.  My sleep patterns have returned to normal in the last week, but I’m still pretty exhausted every night when I get home.

My final paper for my class is due Thursday and then I’ve got to start getting things together for my thesis.  I also really really want to start running again.  I’ve got to find some sort of outlet for the stress.  Bleh.

Suffice it to say that I’m ready for this year to end and to start 2011 with fresh eyes.


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