The past few weeks, my heart has been heavy over the lack of peace in this world. Syria, Lybia, Egypt, Israel/Palestine, Colorado, Oregon, China, now Connecticut. When things like these tragedies, atrocities, and abuses of human life occur, I wonder why God continues to put up with us. We (humanity) seem to excel at little more than destroying this world…things, places, creatures, and each other.
On an even smaller scale, things are not peaceful for me right now. Christmas is never an enjoyable time for me, because it’s never about what it should be.
I declared my “word” for 2012 as “healing.” After the medication issues and resulting mental illness for 2011, I anticipated that this year would be a time for healing. There are parts of that that happened; I have a medication mixture that is working for me and has put me in a much better position. I’ve become much more secure in myself, in part because of the weight that I’ve gained (not that I’m happy that I gained it), I was able to rid myself of a job that I hated in a toxic environment for a job (doing the same thing) that pays much better and is in a much better environment. I’ve removed some toxic relationships in my life and have accepted that I cannot take on the guilt for other peoples’ problems.
However, my physical health has declined. While my blood pressure is back under control, my liver enzymes are mildly elevated, my cholesterol is too high, and my blood sugar is at pre-diabetic levels. And that robs me of my own peace.
2013 is going to be a year of Peace for me. I cannot control the fact that our world, our nation, and our state lack peace. But I will do my part, in my own little corner, to help make this world peaceful for others and to help make it peaceful for myself. Dona Nobis Pacem. Lord, give us peace.