food

“Pushing Thirty” Ramblings and Recipe Link

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Check out my recipe for Quinoa-Stuffed Red Peppers, over at my food blog, Eating Back to Good!

Sunday was my birthday.  I did not get a tattoo (*gasp*, I know).  I turned 29.  I’m having some emotional issues with it, really.  I don’t know…maybe I just continued to feel like I was really just a kid since I was still in my twenties.  That’s all going to be over soon.  Thirty.  It’s so…grown-up.  I know, you guys are laughing because I’m already crotchety enough to be Sophia from The Golden Girls.  I’m a skeptic, a cynic, and I’m sarcastic and grumpy.  If I’m already that way, I’m a little scared of what I’m going to be like in another thirty years.

But it’ll be on paper that I’m grown up.  It was also interesting to me this weekend hearing my parents and grandparents reminisce about their childhoods.  Both of my parents worked in the peach sheds when they were kids.  My grandma (Dad’s mom) did too.  They were doing hard labor, working with sometimes dangerous machinery.  I don’t really have anything interesting like that to reminisce about.  I have Rainbow Brite, My Little Ponies, He-Man, The Smurfs and about a zillion other pop culture references to look back on, but I really don’t have stories about what I accomplished.  I went to school.  I got made fun of in middle school because I was white.  I was smart and graduated near the top of my class.  But I worked as a receptionist at Weight Watchers.  It wasn’t particularly challenging or physically taxing.

I don’t know…I just feel like I kind of missed out on something.  On “Real Life?”  Maybe?  I don’t know.  I don’t really know how to process the feeling, but it was a little weird…like, really proud to be a part of a family with such an interesting and hard-working history, but a little sad that society had changed so much by the time I was born that I don’t have a lot of history to speak of.

Anyway…just some rambling, near-thirty introspection.  I now return you to your regularly-scheduled jocularity:

Recipe Link and Introspection

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Recipe can be found here, on my food blog, Eating Back to Good! .  The exclamation point is part of the title…I’m not really that hyped;).

For the past several months, I’ve been pretty pissed about my life circumstances, and I’ve been blaming everything around me but myself.  I’m stuck, not able to pursue my dreams…I want to be a writer, but I don’t have time to write and, when I do, I don’t really feel like writing…I’m overweight, but I can’t muster up the motivation to do anything about it…and so it goes on.

Additionally, our social calendar has been virtually non-stop for the past year.  I’m not saying that we’re super-popular or anything…actually, our circle of friends is pretty small and close-knit.  The problem is that I can’t say “no.”  Will you come to this group meeting and bring [insert food item here]?  Sure.  Will you be able to make this extra rehearsal this weekend/stay late to practice?  Yep.  Will you come along with me for my pap smear? eh….ok?  (totally made the last one up).

This month, I’ve tried to make sure that we don’t have any more than one thing on the calendar per week (with the exception of a few friends who are family and are welcome at the house any time).  We just need to slow down.  It’s funny how much more time there is to write/knit/cook/exercise when we’re not running from place to place like a hamster on crack.

I’m reading Voluntary Simplicity by Duane Elgin; it was written in 1980, but thus far his views have been pretty timeless.  It’s interesting to me how much further society has gone down the path of consumerism/materialism/waste; Elgin’s concerns have been the same.  I don’t know if he’s still alive, but I’m sure he’s shaking his head if he is.

It’s time for another purging of stuff at chez Weaver.  There’s too much stuff in this house..stuff creates stress, clouds the mind, builds an environment of angst and frustration.  Trying to find underwear in a laundry basket that’s piled four feet high with clean laundry makes a weekday morning particularly unpleasant.  Trying to find the knitting project I want to work on among the pile of half-finished objects and tangled-yarn really pisses me off.  We’ve GOT to get rid of stuff.

The problem is the “getting off my arse” part.  I love to plan, write out lists, dream of how things will be when they’re simple and less stressful, but when it comes to folding the four-foot-high pile of laundry….well, it just doesn’t sound like something that I really want to fit in my day.  And thus, the underwear search soldiers on.

But, my belleh is full of quinoa-stuffed red peppers (recipe and photo coming soon) and I’m ready to knit some more…so I’m out.  If I don’t blog tomorrow, it’s because I’m lying at the bottom of the pile of laundry, without clean underwear.  *sigh*.

Blisters Suck and Quinoa Rocks

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Shelli, shortly before a spaz attack

I’m going to have to figure out a good way to deal with blisters if I’m going to be successful at this running thing.  I put bandaids over my blister from yesterday and it hurts even worse today.  I didn’t let it stop me, though.  I heard electrical tape or duct tape works, so I’ll probably try that Saturday when we go.

Today is my Dad’s BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!  Happy Birthday, Dad!!!  You are most definitely the bestest dad in the entire world.  And, for the record, my dad is totally B-A.  Which is awesome:).

I tried Quinoa for the first time tonight.  It’s really easy to make…the instructions are virtually the same as for white rice, but you get something of much greater nutritional value.  It’s a 1:2 ratio (quinoa:water)…bring to boil and allow to simmer for 15 minutes.  The taste?  Slightly nutty and corny, and chewy.  I thought it was fantastic.  And it’s cute, too, with the little curly tail.

I’ll have a pic of my dinner and a recipe for you tomorrow (stupid Picasa hasn’t uploaded it yet).

Now, time to take my tired arse to bed.

Mel’s Minute-and-a-Half Microwave Cake Mess

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Ingredients:

  • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • 1 egg
  • 4-5 tbsp flour
  • 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa
  • sweetener of choice (I used the blue packet because it’s what we had…probably would use one or two stevias next time)
  • 1 teaspoon baking powder
  • 2 tbsp milk
  • peanut butter

Put 1 tbsp coconut oil in coffee mug and microwave until totally melted.  Add all other ingredients except PB.  Beat furiously (but carefully, lest you powder your counter) until thoroughly mixed.  Put a big dollop of PB on top.  Microwave for about ninety seconds.  EAT UP!!

This is great for when you’re really craving a sweet and don’t have anything in the house. I’ve used wheat flour in place of white flour, almond/soy milk in place of the milk (or even water in a pinch), a myriad of sweeteners, and other nut butters.  This is a highly adaptable recipe that I based from the wealth of “microwave cake” recipes available online.  It’s pretty tasty:)

I would have taken a picture, but both Joey and I inhaled ours too quickly.

It has been a rough day, but nothing bloggable right now.  I’m also missing Puss…she’s been gone for almost 2 1/2 years.  Between that and the day in general, I’m in need of a break from the world.

But at least there was good cake!!  🙂

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

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I’m currently in the car riding home from Ohio…Joey’s GPS on his droid says that we’ve got about an hour and forty five minutes to go.  I’m definitely ready to be home; I miss my Shellikins and I am in desperate need of peace and quiet.  I wish I had taken tomorrow off too, because I think it’s going to take me a few days to get over the whirlwind this weekend has been, which is disappointing since last week was so relaxing with two days to hang with my mom and then early Friday to read and knit and relax and watch some long-awaited trash tv (you are NOT the father!!).  I took The Artist’s Way with me intending to be able to do some of the exercises, but I never got enough time alone to really be able to think about any of it.  I also took a brand new, shiny, never-been touched notebook for my morning pages which remained unopened since I didn’t get any time alone to do those either.

I’m looking forward to this twelve weeks to try to rejuvenate my creativity; I had it explained to me recently (by someone in the head-shrinking business) that some of my emotional issues these days come from the fact that I shut out the creative side of myself because that’s also the emotional side of myself and I have spent several years trying to avert any kind of emotional trauma by not feeling much of anything at all.  I’d never had it explained that way…I’ve just been wondering all this time why I can’t write poetry anymore and why I don’t have creative ideas like I used to (and also why I’m so cynical).  So, now that I have the anxiety/depression issues taken care of by some much-needed pharmaceudical help, I’m going back through The Artist’s Way (and I WILL finish this time) to try to reconnect with the part of myself that I’ve lost over these past eight or nine years that I’ve spent in emotional “survival mode” because of some pretty painful life events.

On other, less personally-emotionally-charged-psychobabble notes, there has been car knitting:

 

CABLES!!  I’m knitting cables!!  Funnily, I realized about a hour into the trip that I forgot to pack a cable needle.  I almost decided not to try cables, but I found a stitch holder (read:  giant, honking safety-pin looking thing), and I made do with it.  It’s actually worked pretty well.  I tried cabling without the CN once, but I almost lost a stitch, so we probably won’t be trying that again for a while.

Joey got his photography in:

 

We’ve got something in the works regarding this; I’ll go into more details later:)

And, my absolute FAVORITE blogger, Heather of Heather Eats Almond Butter just announced that she’s expecting!  Congrats, HEAB; if you’ll send me a mailing address, I’d love to send you an original handknit for your Heablet:)

On the food front, it’s been a terrible food weekend; on the way down, I had a Subway ham flatbread with veggies, too much Chex Mix, and lots of coffee.  Breakfast yesterday was at Bob Evans and dinner was at Cracker Barrel (where I actually saw a group of prom kids coming in for our prom dinner.  Ohio truly is a different world, for sure).  Dinner tonight was had at Wendy’s.  I’m over the fast food, and, after just now easing back from the Primal thing, I’m tired of fatty food…just tired of it.  Tomorrow, I’m thinking about doing a green monster for breakfast and a salad for lunch and then going from there.  My stomach is upset with me and I’m feeling fat, to say the least.

I’m not sure if we’ll hit the gym tomorrow; if we don’t, I at least want to do a couple of miles around the neighborhood.  My joints are screaming from sixteen hours in a car over two days.  And all of this driving through the mountains has made me want to go HIKING!! 🙂

“Ta” for now, folks!

The Post on Food Issues

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Okay, this is probably going to be a long one, so if you’re not interested in reading my lunatic musings regarding food/emotions/weight loss, then you may be better off waiting until the weekend when I catalogue our quick trip to Ohio.  But, I will go ahead and give you a Kins-pic just for showing up:

That was taken with the droid…for some reason, the flash reacts poorly with Shelli’s eyes, but it makes for some freaking awesome scary-kitty photos:).

Ok….it’s a pretty good morning; the last two days, I’ve had a dentist appointment and an eye appointment, but I’ve also got to hang out with my mom and her best friend and I got to spend one last time at Eastland Mall before bidding my final adieu since it’ll be foreclosed on and shut down at the end of next month.  Today is just for laying around, drinking coffee, and packing for our Ohio trip.

So, as many of you know, I’ve gained fifty pounds in the last five years, twenty of which were just in the last year or two.  And I am totally miserable.  Try as I might, I just cannot accept that the way I am now is the way that I have to be, and my heart breaks when I see pictures of myself from years ago.  I look back and wonder how I could be so uncomfortable in my body at 130 pounds, because now that I’ve reached 180 (175 now), I long for the days when I was 130.  I feel like I squandered a healthy weight by feeling like it “wasn’t enough.”

So, over the past few years, I’ve done all kinds of ridiculous things (which is pretty sad considering that I worked for Weight Watchers for seven years, so I know what I need to do).  I’ve done the raw, vegan thing.  I’ve been vegetarian.  I’ve tried the Master Cleanse (WHOA..never again.  I pooped more than I have in my entire life…I thought that I would eventually die from pooping), I’ve tried various “detoxes,” including some weird one where all you ate was potatoes (seriously??).  Most recently, I’ve tried the “primal” diet.

Parts of it make a lot of sense; we were not designed to be able to digest complex foods and highly processed things.  Refined grains are a no-no.  Grok would have eaten only meat and some vegetables, though?  I don’t know.  Yep, Grok probably would have gorged on meat when he got the chance, but I have a feeling that those times were not that frequent.  Grok also didn’t know how to preserve meat at the time, so he couldn’t exactly save his food for later.  The primalist’s answer to this?  Use “Intermittent Fasting,” a concept where you don’t eat for 24 hours at a time (at least) once or twice a week.  Skip breakfast every day.

The pros?  You can eat bacon.  And copious amounts of red meat.  You can have real cream, real butter.

The cons?  You have to eat SO.  MUCH.  FREAKING.  MEAT.  Every meal.  You’re so busy trying to eat enough meat that you forget entirely about vegetables.  Legumes are off-limits.  Fruit is not that desireable.  ABSOLUTELY no sugar. 

They say that, once the cravings pass, you’ll quit caring about sweet things.  I haven’t found that to be true.  Maybe I haven’t given it a fair shake, but I’ve found that a sugar craving strikes out of the blue, and it doesn’t just make you want some fruit to take the edge off.  NOOOO…..it makes you want to completely obliterate an entire package of “break-n-bake” cookies.

Furthermore, my blood pressure has risen considerably, which is already concerning since I’m prehypertensive as it is.  And I really don’t want to go on meds for it…I’m already taking two drugs for my anxiety/depression plus my BC (which primalists pretty staunchly oppose), so I don’t want any more pills.  The eye doctor took my BP yesterday and it was 139/101.  The dentist took it Tuesday and it was 140/95.  And I wasn’t nervous either time.  I usually measure 132/85ish, so the former two readings are of particular concern.

However, I have lost 7.5 pounds since eating primally (including a couple of weeks of “cheating” while James was on leave).  So, I’m eating in a way which is shooting my blood pressure through the roof, causing me to break out (Acne?  Seriously?  I’m almost 30.  And I never had a big problem with it even when I was a teen), and removing almost every green food out of my life, but I’ve had quicker weight loss success than I have in over a year.

So, I’ve spent the past couple of days drowning my sorrow in carb-rich pizza, lamenting my inability to let go of carbohydrates and feeling like a failure because I can’t eliminate entire categories of the human eating spectrum, something which I know to be unhealthy, and being angry at myself because I have forsaken the number one method of weight loss success:  eating less (but maintaining variety) and moving more.  And then came Jessica’s post, which hit me in the gut.  It seems like I’m not the only one dealing with food issues right now, and it helps to see that someone else is dealing with it.  But she’s coming out on the other side (and is about to be a beautiful bride).  It seems to be so overwhelming to think about trying to face another 45 pounds of weight loss, feeling like crap about myself and not wanting to buy any clothes because purchasing a Size 14 is actually admitting to myself that I have let myself get this far.

We got a lot of takeout last month.  That’s the other part of the Primal Problem.  I haven’t dealt with meat in a year, people…now I’m trying to figure out different ways to cook this pile of dead animal carcass in my freezer so that it amounts to more than the same four meals weekly…which makes me overwhelmed…which makes me want to give up and get Veggie Tempura from the local Japanese place.  And that makes me pissed at myself because it’s not frugal.  And we are the frugal ones…we’re the ones that the people look at and say, “I don’t know how you do it!”  Until they see that we ordered pizza twice this week.

And this is where I find myself right now; I know what I need to do and I know how to do it.  I have all of the tools already.  But I’m having trouble mustering up the will to do it (isn’t “muster” a funny word?).  But if Jessica can work through it, then I can too.  And if she still deals with the occasional mental setback, then I probably shouldn’t be beating myself up nearly as much as I am. 

So, after a healthy breakfast (which included whole wheat bread), I’m going to sit back with a cup of coffee and start going through The Artist’s Way again in an attempt to reconnect with my right brain (the part of me that the corporate world repeatedly beats into defeat and seeks to erode and destroy).  Then, I’ll empty the dishwasher, fold a little laundry, and start packing.  And I won’t obsess about food this weekend; I’ll just try to make better choices.

Why Chinese Takeout Will Be the Death of Me

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I had a mini-food-tantrum when I got home from choir.  It used to be a lot worse…food is the bane of my existence, seriously.  Before I was medicated, I would get really upset when I didn’t feel like there was anything good in the house and have a meltdown.  Crazy, eh?  I still have them every now and then, but they’re much milder.

Anyway, after a GREAT choir rehearsal, I got home and….nothing looked good.  Joey offered to get me something, so I sent him out for Chinese takeout.  I realized about five minutes ago that there’s leftover baked ziti in the freezer which would have been perfect:(.  I could have saved money.  Bleh.  At least our grocery bill for the week was only $36, so I’m not really kicking us out of our budget.

This is turning out to be the longest week. 

🙂

Recipe: Simple Roasted Root Vegetables (+ Brussels Sprouts)

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I’ve had some turnips in the fridge since…well, Christmas.  I squeezed them a couple of days ago and they were still firm, so I decided that we should do some simple roasted Root Vegetables for easy meals.

First, I know Brussels Sprouts aren’t root vegetables, but it needed something green.

Ingredients:

  • 4 turnips
  • 5 carrots
  • 5 red potatoes
  • 2 onions
  • 2 bags of frozen brussels sprouts

Instructions:

  • A couple of hours before cooking, thaw the brussels sprouts in a colander in the sink.  The colander will allow excess moisture from freezing to drain.
  • When ready to cook, preheat the oven to 425*
  • Cut vegetables into medium-sized chunks (probably around the size of your thumb).  Leave the onion chunks together (rather than separating the layers)
  • spray a baking sheet (you may need two or three depending on the size)
  • lightly salt the veggies and spread out onto one layer on the baking sheet.
  • Bake for about 45 minutes or until the vegetables are tender but have some dark “roasted” spots.
  • Serve warm with whatever seasonings you’d like!

The first time I had them this week, I added ketchup.  For lunch today, I added a little garlic powder, onion powder, basil and oregano, salt and pepper, and some parmesan cheese.  Yum!

Things I Think I’ve Forgotten to Mention This Week…

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Frugality:  Grocery costs totalled $40 this week…ten bucks under budget.  This month’s takeout is a little over….about $65.  I went out with my friend Sarah for Mexican on Tuesday…unplanned, but very worthwhile expense.  I’m all for budgeting, but I don’t want to forsake hanging out with a friend who needs some time out of the house. 

Knitting:  I worked on my mom’s skinny scarf at choir last night.  I need to work on my bell-sleeved shrug, too.  From reading other knitters’ comments about this pattern, it appears that I’m not the only one who noticed that it was waaaaaaaaay too short.  Someone gave the measurements for how long they knitted the sleeves and back, so I’m back in the game.  And, on a slightly unrelated note, I got a solo on a pretty awesome song for our conference in March.  Yay!

Grad School:  Discussion posts done for World Lit.  Will commence discussion posts for Asian-American Lit soon.  Good reading, good movies.  Lots of work.

Eating:  Not great…I weighed myself this morning.  We’ll leave it at that.

Work:  This week, I’ve discovered yet another new way that I’m just like my father (which I definitely don’t mind, fyi).  Meetings are worthless.  Just leave me alone and let me do my job.  I’ll be much happier that way.  So will my clients.

Weather:  Today:  Sunny and 60.  Tomorrow: Cold and Rainy.  Tomorrow night/Saturday am:  1-4 inches of snow.  The grocery stores are packed.  People must have bread and milk.  I swear, in the South, I think that even VEGANS buy milk when they hear that snow is coming.  Perhaps it’s a conspiracy between the grocery industry and the dairy board…hmmm…

Shelli:  We haven’t had a pee incident in a month.  She is now allowed in the bedroom without supervision and we’re not shutting the bathroom door anymore.  The toy of the day has been the mouse on wheels that Gma-Gpa got her for Christmas.  She drug it out of her basket last night.  It rolls really fast if you pull it backward and then push it forward.

TV:  Fell asleep during our taped-watching of NCIS.  The State of the Union Address meant no Criminal Minds.  No McGee and No Dr. Reid….a sad week…

Fitness:  Killer workouts on Monday and today.  Will probably go back tomorrow.  Joey worked out with his friend (and drill-instructor) Wesley.  He keeps crying every time he coughs.

I wish Shelli didn’t always look pissed when I take a pic.  I also don’t get many “in motion” photos in the winter.  The house is on 60*.  She ain’t moving.

So many toys, so little time…

Grad School Miscellany…

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So, a post that isn’t entirely centered around food, finally;).  I’m taking Asian American Lit this semester, and I just got done watching a movie called Picture Bride.  I have to be honest, I haven’t had a whole lot of luck with the films I’ve had to watch for my classes thus far (with the exception of Smoke Signals).  Boy, was I in for a pleasant surprise!  This film is a masterpiece…absolutely fantastic…a beautiful love story built around the concept of the “picture brides,” Japanese girls who were sent from Japan to marry laborers in the can fields in Hawai’i.  It was amazing.  If you ever get a chance to watch it, I definitely recommend it.  And if you’re local, I’ll be more than happy to loan it to you!

One of the best things about this one was that not all of it was in subtitles…there was some actual English, so I was able to get another repeat done on my bell-sleeved shrug.  However, I was looking at the pattern and I don’t think that the girl made the length right, so I’ll have to make some adjustments, I think.

On some slightly food-related news, yesterday, Joey bought me this:

Yep, a pastry board!  I have been bummed since we bought the house that I didn’t have a good place to make and knead dough.  I didn’t like to use the counters, and we have a rolling kitchen cart, but it’s got a built-in cutting board, so kneading on it makes a mess.  I’d been using my big plastic cutting board, but that’s not been working well because…well, plastic is sticky!  So, we saw this at the Wally World yesterday and Joey told me to have at it!  I used it last night for the Sweet Potato Gnocchi!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for tonight, folks.  It’s been a good night…good trip to the gym that left me feeling pretty exhausted, good dinner, good movie…I’m ready to go to bed:)