facebook hiatus

I am Now Two Weeks Removed from Facebook…

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Two weeks ago today, after a very-early-morning toilet moment and subsequent epiphany, I uninstalled the Facebook application from my phone and tablet after turning off all notifications. And today, I can tell you that I haven’t logged back in, not even once, and I genuinely feel like my life is better off for it. I wanted to share a few thoughts with you from what this last couple of weeks have held for me.

The usual disclaimer: I’m not judging you. Plenty of you are able to consume/use social media without negative effects/addictive behaviors. Also, I’m not guaranteeing that I’ll stay off Facebook forever, either. I’m still on Instagram (for now), and I’m still allowing my Insta photos and blog posts to share over to FB, so please know that I’m not against social media entirely.

But, I am against something that’s supposed to bring joy and entertainment becoming a huge time suck and causing stress and dissatisfaction with life. And, with as short as our time here on this earth is, I’m not a fan of something I can shut off and stuff in a pocket dictating my happiness and how I spend my free time. I’m rapidly approaching middle-age, and I don’t want to look back and see that a huge portion of my life was spent staring at a screen (of my own choice).

So here we go: the good, the bad, and the ugly (which is really just the bad, right?)

The Good:

  1. I’m less irritable in general! Since leaving the melee of Facebook, I haven’t seen a single political or theological rant, and no one has tried to sell me something, and it’s glorious.
  2. I don’t feel as bad about my life. It’s still a little shabby, a little overweight, and a lot infertile, but now that I’m no longer barraged with others’ carefully-curated social-media lives, I can maintain a proper perspective about my own little corner of the world.
  3. I’m reading REAL books. I bought a refurbished Kindle Paperwhite for this purpose, so I’ll be able to have several books at-hand but not feel like I’m staring at a blue screen, and I’m currently plowing my way through Walden. I also went to the local library this past Saturday and got a new library card so we can make use of our tax dollars. I haven’t read much since my Master’s program (I had some SERIOUS burnout after two or three novels a week for almost 3 years), and I forgot how much a book feels like an old friend.
  4. I’m staring at screens less in general. The good thing for me about Instagram is that there’s simply not as much to see. I follow a few friends, some celebrities, and some watercolor art and adorable animal accounts, but that’s pretty much it. Once you’ve scrolled for a few minutes, you’ve seen it all. Without Facebook to flip over to, I’ve just got to put the phone down and find something else to do.

The Bad (and Ugly):

  1. I never realized how much I shared random thoughts with everyone. Sometimes I miss it, because there are things that crack me up that I want others to find funny. But then I’m also faced with my own narcissism; do I really think I’m hilarious enough that other people need to see it constantly?
  2. FOMO is real, ya’ll. I’m missing scrolling through my comedy pages and seeing what some of my more distant friends are doing.
  3. People tend to talk to you like you should automatically know what’s going on via Facebook. And when you don’t, they assume you’re being sanctimonious.

But even the bad things aren’t that bad, really. I haven’t felt an urge to go back yet, and as a result, I’ve managed to pare down one more thing that’s causing life stress. It’s much easier to cope with stress when you simply have less stress to cope with.

More to come on this de-stressing, simplifying journey!

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The Burden of Social Consumption (aka: Why I am Ditching Facebook (for Now at Least) and I’m Back!)

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I let the blog go for a very long time this time between posts. I hate that; it just seemed that, every time I wanted to write, I felt overwhelmed by the blank page, or like I didn’t want to add more to the already loud world of the internet. But here I am, back in this space of mine, and I think I’d like to ponder a bit about social media and the reasons I’m returning to blogging.

Joey and I are in the midst of what’s probably the most stressful couple of years in our lives. Last year, we took over duties as caregivers for his terminally ill aunt, all while working through the process of getting ready for an adoption. We honestly thought we may be parents by the end of the year, but such is not the case. She passed at the end of last year, and through her generosity, we now own her home. It is an amazing gift, but one that came at the cost of a great deal of sanity, as managing someone’s palliative care in-home is overwhelming.

“Overwhelming” has been the theme of the last 18 months, it seems. Between life stress and job stress, I’ve found myself withdrawing from friends, picking at my arms more, and spending waaaay more time in front of the tv and on social media than is probably healthy. And it all came to a head a couple of nights ago.

I was plagued by insomnia, talking to the Lord and trying to hash out some things with Him and plead for some answers, and I got up to go to the bathroom, taking my phone with me as usual (TMI, but there’s a point). It’s quarter after midnight, and I check Facebook (as we all do while on the throne, right?)….and see that I missed my cousin’s birthday. I’d failed to write “Happy Birthday” on her wall, and I was disappointed in myself, and all of the sudden overwhelmed when I realized I’d been forgetting a lot of “Happy Birthday” posts lately.

I finally made it to sleep around 3 am and was back up at 5 for work, and once I got to my desk, in the silence of the office, I was struck by the insanity of it all. Why should something I voluntarily use for entertainment cause me such stress? Why am I liking people’s status updates just because I believe I should; why do I think people need to know if I’m currently watching American Ninja Warrior?

Over the last few months, I’ve found myself typing a status, only to delete it, either because I came to my senses and realized it was something inane, something passive aggressive, or an opinion that may be inflammatory when I simply don’t have the energy to argue with people about it. And I’ve found myself irritated by posts about religion or politics, and began to wonder if I would feel less antagonistic toward those people (who I generally like) if I were not subjected to their inflammatory posts. I found myself feeling increasingly dissatisfied with my own life with every view of others’ carefully curated “social media lives.” In short, I was beginning to find Facebook completely overwhelming rather than fun.

Later that day, I was catching up on Tammy Strobel’s blog (Rowdy Kittens), and worked my way back to her post on breaking up with social media (sorry Tammy! I didn’t realize Feedly didn’t update to your new Squarespace feed!). And I realized it was time to let Facebook go.

What if this season of writers’ block is largely due to my consumption of social media without leaving myself enough blank space to think…and actually write? It’s easier to flip over to Facebook and see who’s up to what or read some ridiculous clickbait article with the same pictures I’ve seen a hundred times. It wasn’t making me happy.

Now, a few things, just to be transparent. I’m not judging anyone; plenty of people genuinely enjoy Facebook without negative ramifications. I’m not being sanctimonious, and I don’t have privacy concerns; we have no privacy on the web, and our conscious decision to use social media means we’re willingly giving that away. I’m also not against social media in general; I’m staying on Instagram (for now, at least), as it doesn’t leave me with the same level of stress. I’m not deactivating my Facebook, and my photos and blog links will continue to share over there. But I won’t be there.

Instead, I’ll be taking advantage of the freedom of not being overwhelmed by every missed birthday, every happy picture of a lifestyle I can’t have right now, every angry political rant I don’t agree with. I’ll be using that “free space” to learn more about being a better horseback rider, to exercise more, to plan more epic hikes, to work on hand-lettering (something I’ve wanted to learn for a while), to talk to the Lord, and to WRITE. To create more than consume.

Life is stressful enough. We shouldn’t be needlessly making it even more stressful for ourselves.

So, I’ll be here more often, hopefully, and I’d still love to interact with you. Drop me a comment, find me on Insta. Send me an email. But also, shut off your phone for a while.

Monthly Update, I Guess…

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Check this out:

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I saw it at Metrolina Expo last weekend….I texted the picture to Joey and he told me to buy it.  So, I did.  It looks better on my wrist anyway:)

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It’s been quite a month here in Chez Weaver.  I’ve deferred my graduation until summer to give me more time to put in a good effort on my remaining class and have another two months after that for my thesis.  That has helped immensely with the stress, but couple that with some work stress that I probably shouldn’t blog about, and it’s been a month of aggravation and futility.  I’m working through it, but for some reason or another, I’m finding it to be more difficult than I have in the past few years.  I’m going to wait until school is done to make sure it’s not just my life circumstances before I start reevaluating my meds, though.

We’re taking a “staycation” this weekend…skipped church today and haven’t gone anywhere and done much.  Yesterday, we did visit the new Grand Asia Market in Stallings, and it was really cool.  They’ve got a restaurant, sushi bar, and bakery and a full grocery store…there was so much stuff I’d never seen before!  Also, their spices are really cheap, so I think we’ll go there from now on to get our spices and some produce.  And, there was like FIFTY kinds of tofu.  AWESOME.  Love me some tofu.  Mostly, though, we’ve relaxed, watched some tv, and worked on school stuff.  I got one of my novels for my thesis re-read yesterday, and I plan to go back through all of the research articles I have on it today.  But right now, I’m having coffee and chilling on the couch with the windows open getting ready to watch Ice Spiders on Syfy:)

I’ve been eating Primally for the past week, and I’ve already lost 8 pounds.  I forgot how easy it is and how much I enjoy it.  Since I’m on the fence as to where I lie on the spectrum concerning the Christian view of the Creation versus Evolution debate, I’m not necessarily married to the Paleo Diet…there will always be room for cheese in my book;).  However, I’ve been impressed by the simultaneous ease of the lifestyle and inventiveness that it inspires with food.  This morning, I made “Primal Panckes” with eggs, almond flour, cinnamon and vanilla.  Topped with warmed strawberries and hand-whipped cream, and you’ve got some tasty goodness for sure. 

Other things I’ve noticed in the past week:

  1. I’ve had a headache (part of what they describe as the “carb flu,’ I think.
  2. However, I’ve had more energy and greater focus.
  3. Much to Joey’s pleasure, I’ve had less gass.
  4. However, my poop has been like rocks (I need more green veggies, methinks)
  5. Sweetened things are waaaay too sweet to me.  I had Joey put 1/2 a pack of Truvia in my coffee this morning, and he’s already done two “warm ups” for me without adding any sweetener.  It was too sweet to begin with.
  6. I’m less hungry in general
  7. I have a better sense of when I am actually hungry as opposed to when I’m simply wanting to eat.

Also, I’m on a self-imposed “Facebook Hiatus.”  I’d been thinking about it for the last three weeks or so, and my friend Shannon posted yesterday that she was doing it.  We texted back and forth about it for most of the day, and I decided to go ahead and do it also.  I’d actually considered deactivating my account entirely, but I’m not ready to take that step yet (I’ve reunited both with my best friend from third grade and my best friend from sixth grade, so I do think there’s a use in Facebook).  However, it can take over your life.  Joey and I are also going back to “dumb phones” next week and getting rid of our data plan (for unrelated reasons), and I’m actually excited about it.  I never thought I would be…but I’m sick of hearing the notification indicator going off, honestly.  Texting with my close friends is good enough for me.

So, there you have it folks.  I’m hoping to blog more often…I miss it…and I think I’m starting to figure out how to navigate these next few months.