yeah, i really didn’t mean for that to sound as “final” or “foreboding” as it does.  i’ve been struck the last few days with this urge to detach from “the system.”  it’s a moot point, because there’s really no way to detach anymore; we’re numbered, inventoried, and surveilled wherever we go.  and, to be honest, i really like my cable tv and smartphone, so it’s not looking to be in my future.  but i still want it.  what i want is to NOT want my smartphone and tv and the myriad of other things that make my life so very comfortable.  i want not to be so tied to them because, if somehow the opportunity arose for us to actually live a more analog, off-grid lifestyle, i would want to jump out on faith and take that chance.

i promise, I’m not trying to romanticize “the good ol’ days” where people were forced to do without modern luxuries (i.e., the Great Depression), but sometimes i think that we’ve been victims of our own success, and i can’t help but feel these days like a big “reset” is about to take place…whether by natural means, or vulnerability of our power grid, whatever it may be.  it just seems that the world has become such a volatile place so rapidly and that it’s all coming to a head.  of course, the fundies are either freaking out or salivating with joy because they think we’re on the cusp of the end of the world.  we’re such a short-sighted, chronocentric people.  these things have happened over and over throughout the ages…we struggle, become successful, become victims of our own success, and then the pendulum swings and we’re back to the struggle again.

part of it may be because i didn’t get a chance to unplug this past year.  i changed jobs, so we couldn’t take a long enough vacation to justify taking the camper.  the weekend that we did tent-camp, we had a horrific storm come through which culminated in our desperately trying to pack up the tent in the pouring rain and lightning while i had a panic attack.  also, my health has been pretty piss-poor the last four months of the past year, and it’s not getting better as quickly as i would hope/like.

we’re going to give gardening another shot this year.  with the price of food rising, i think we need to be able to mitigate some of that cost ourselves.  and, i’m just enough of a conspiracy theorist to think that it’s no accident that we’re getting sicker and sicker the more that the government gets involved in our food.  the best solution as i see it is to do what i can to keep them out of my food as much as i can.

i do hope that someday, before it’s too late to do so, we’ll be able to move out to an area that’s a little more rural and secluded, a little out of the way, and that we’ll be able to unplug a little bit more, enjoy God’s creation a little bit more, stress a little bit less, and try to bring things in our corner of the world a little closer back to how it should be, in spite of the political, societal, and religious unrest that seems to be rapidly spiraling out of control.