At least, I felt like I did. One of the hardest things to overcome about writing this thesis is the expectation that I’m going to turn out something good on the first try. I spent so much time agonizing about the introduction, and then my advisor comes back and tells me not to worry about it that much since I’m going to have to rewrite it anyway. I knew that all along…I guess I got too caught up in that whole “fear of failure” thing. I shouldn’t have been so scated to send my crappy draft to her.
Anyway, with that behind me, I’m going to wait until tomorrow to start on the first chapter. Now, some club soda and Destination Truth:)
She’s not sending you a terd. I promise.
I promised myself that I could blog as a reward for rewriting my introduction of my prospectus. I don’t know how I’m going to bribe myself to get the rest done. However, I will say, now that I have part of the rewrite under my belt, I am feeling much better. I’ve also spent two hours or so corresponding with my advisor, and she has been really helpful, so the chances that I’ll spend tonight sobbing about anything/everything like I did yesterday are much lower. It’s amazing to me how much being overwhelmed about this project can affect my ability to handle anything at all. That and being home alone because Joey is on a trip with the guys (note to any freako pervs who may read this and want to break in: I will shoot you dead. And you can believe that). I’m doing better with the solitude today, though. It’s funny to me that, even though I enjoy and value time spent by myself, I don’t really like being alone all that much. I can remember being a kid at home and crying all by myself when my parents went somewhere and I was home alone. I wasn’t scared or anything, I just liked having them around.
I am getting more done without Joey here, though, so this is a blessing for me. And, since he’s gone, Shelli is having to settle for second best and is currently sleeping on the couch with me. I love this. However, I am a slow coffee-drinker and have a bladder the size of a hamster, so I’m currently sitting here with lukewarm coffee and an intense need to pee. Ah, the price we pay for the happiness of our fur-babies.
Here’s what the other half of my immediate surroundings looks like. Except now, there’s an empty tupperware container that had sliced deli ham in it. Lunch of champions, folks…coffee and sliced ham.
I’m totally amazed at the writing process for this prospectus. I cannot begin to imagine what the next few months hold in the actual thesis-writing process. I can tell you a couple of things I’ve learned thus far, though:
- Your first draft sucks. Expect it. Send it in, get criticism, pick out a few sentences that work, and then scrap the rest.
- Research *anything* that you think might have to do with your topic…not just about the novels you’re discussing. In addition to the three novels I’m working on, I’ve ended up researching mental illness among Latino communities, mental illness and feminism, feminism in Caribbean literature…you name it.
- Think of your research as a pot of spaghetti; do a ton of it, and toss it at the wall to see what sticks.
- Ask, ask, ask, ask questions. Dialogue with your advisor…about lots of things, not just the paper at hand. This is a lot harder if you’re doing DE, but it’s worthwhile.
- Cut some slack in other areas of life. I had to beg off on a slumber party last night that I was looking forward to. I didn’t want to do it, but a peaceful evening at home spent sobbing about life and this paper, followed by a good night’s sleep left me refreshed and prepared to take on this paper this morning. Some times you’ve got to be okay with letting things go.
OK, back to it. Enjoy your Saturday!