Silence is Golden….

I never appreciated how wonderful silence is until I ended up in a lifestyle where I almost NEVER have any. I can’t imagine what it’ll be like if/when we have children. I thrive on it…especially now that I’m in recovery from depression/anxiety. When I was at my worst, silence was terrifying, because it allowed all kinds of awful fears and “what if” scenarios to creep into my mind, things which I couldn’t get out of my head, no matter what I tried. TV was always a good escape as it kept my mind from roaming too far, but I couldn’t bear to be alone with my own thoughts. Now, I can really appreciate the silence without fear; I can sit alone in my car at lunch without the radio on and just the whisper of the fan blowing cool air on me and knit and think about things I want to do, goals that I have, and things I need to change without the constant, nagging fear that I’m dying of cancer or something horriffic like that. It’s times like those when I really DO feel like the year of treatment has been worthwhile.

So, remember my comment yesterday that the b-nut squash isn’t so good roasted in bigger chunks? It was waaay too soggy and really had a “squashy” taste rather than a sweet taste (like a sweet potato). I really didn’t know what to do; I only ate about 1/3 of the squash yesterday. Joey forced some down and I put the rest in the fridge. So, I thought that I’d try adding it to oats and see if it improved any. Today, I packed some dry rolled oats (3/4 cup) with ground cinnamon, allspice, and cloves. I added some hot water (probably just 1 cup) and the (peeled) roasted b-nut. I also dumped in a couple of packets of Sugar in the Raw (not ideal, but it was the most natural option). The end result?

It may look a little weird, but it was actually pretty good. The squash was more pumpkin-y rather than squash-y, and it was really filling and satisfying. Now, I have two ways to eat the rest of my b-nut squashes:).

Then, at 1, I commenced “car-time.” I didn’t know if I’d feel like napping, so I took my knitting with me. I’ve finished the front, and so I needed to go back and knit the 8 inches up the back before seaming the top and then picking up for the sleeves. I got maybe five rows done and then tired of it and put it away. I’ll probably work on it some more tonight, though!

Then, “car-knit” time turned into “car-book” time. I started on this:

It’s our next assignment for Ethnic American Lit. It looks like it’s going to shape up to be a good read. I read the first few pages, and then got tired, so I laid back with about 30 minutes left and had a little nap. I really do cherish that time to not be bothered. I think that, when it gets too cold to stay in the car, I’ll probably have to save up so I can walk across to Caribou and sit in there for a while. It’s just so nice to remind myself that there really is a world outside of the office, that beautiful things still happen and that the world is still turning out there. When you’re in a cubicle all day, it’s so easy to lose sight of that; you live by the clock, and without the ability to see much out a window, it’s difficult to really get a grasp on the progression of the day. Sometimes I really wonder about American Society and the ideals that it has instilled in people.

One thought on “Silence is Golden….

  1. Life is shorter than you like, but when you finally realize this, often the best years can't be gotten back. Live each day to the fullest so you don't look back over your shoulder and wish you had done something you could have done – when it's too late to do anything about it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s